Pineapples Are Kind of a Theme in My Life and I Like It

Pineapples are kind of a theme, or perhaps more accurately, a motif in my life. Its wierd because Pineapples aren't even my favorite fruit. In fact, here's a list of fruits I like more than pineapples:

1. Peaches

2. Nectarines

3. Strawberries

4. Blood oranges

So Pineapples would be about 5 on my fave fruits list, but still they find their way into my life more thematically than fruits one through four. I'll explain...

Someone in my family (or out of my family--I'm not sure--but it found its way into my family) started the "tradition" of giving congratulatory Pineapples at events that merit congratulations (actually only graduation ceremonies). But I really liked this "tradition" and have clung to it. In fact, I recently gifted a Pineapple to my sister-in-law when she graduated from BYU.

While I was in Uganda I ate a pineapple a day. I'm not joking or hyperbolizing. They were the most amazing pineapples you'll ever have (and if you do ever have them you might need to argue about this with someone who has lived in Hawaii and thinks their pineapples are better than yours). I'd buy one from a roadside fruitstand for a thousand shillings (50 cents) and eat it for lunch or dessert. The great thing about them is that they never hurt your mouth no matter how much you eat.

And pineapples again crept their way into my life yesterday. It was Dave's birthday and I asked him what his favorite cake was. He said Pineapple Upside-Down Cake (then quickly ammended it with lemon merengue pie, but I pretended I didn't hear that because I didn't want to try and make it. Plus lemons aren't a theme in my life and I don't want them to be). So being the sweetheart that I am, I made Dave his FAVORITE cake-- Pineapple Upside-Down Cake. Best part of it: It was the very first successful baked good I have ever made all by myself from scratch--a surprisingly liberating feeling.

It was yummy, and I managed to wheedle in a candle for each of Dave's 26 years (an un-liberating feeling).

The rest of the birthday party was a big success and very fun. Thanks to the MacDonalds for letting us throw it at their house. Here are some shots of the night:

Hoe Hoe Hoe

I apologize if it seems like I've been waxing matrimonial a lot lately, but I'm new to marriage and still picking up on all its little joys and foibles. But I was surprised to learn about something I hadn't realized might be expected of a married woman...

Gardening. Last week I got a two inch by two inch piece of paper from the manager stating: "If you want a plot in the garden you must come to gardening day tomorrow!" Two things surprised me about the note: the word 'must' and the exclamation point. These things imply that people are clambering for a spot in the Academy Apartments garden. Needless to say I was nonplussed about the whole thing and opted out of gardening day. I thought I'd leave my plot to someone more desperate for a few square feet of dirt.

But that was not the end of it. This Monday my manager came to the door to inform me face to face that I haven't missed my chance to garden (Guess what, there was more dirt under the other grass!) She was hosting FHE corn planting in about 30 minutes and Dave and I were welcome to shovel and hoe in exchange for a coin purse of corn kernels.

We did go to FHE corn planting, and Kristina (our manager) assured us that she will let us know which row is ours soon. (She probably has to weigh how hard we worked versus the quality of the rows and asses our situation first).

I'll keep you updated on the status of our maize, and if nothing else we'll end up with some great popcorn balls.

Famous Enchiladas

I have often been referred to as a domestic goddess. I take pride in this title. I have done a lot of things to earn it, including my "famous enchiladas". Some of you have heard this story, many of you have not, but here's how it goes:

One day, when mine and Dave's love was still blossoming, Dave made me dinner. "Wow, this is good," I said, "Next week I'm going to make you my famous enchiladas." Unbeknownst to Dave, my enchiladas are famous for three things: 1. Being cheap 2. Being efficient 3. Being delicious.
All you have to do is buy a pack of frozen enchiladas (I prefer El Monterey Bean and Cheese, but any brand will do), pour a liberal amount of enchilada sauce over them, sprinkle cheese, bake for 45 mins (if frozen) and voila. Jessica's Famous Enchiladas.

Needless to say these have been the brunt of many a joke. Every time we eat dinner with friends, family, what have you, Dave says (mockingly) "Man, you should try Jessica's 'famous' enchiladas."

However, this Cinco de Mayo my pobre enchiladas achieved a victory. Dave said "Man honey, I know I make fun of these a lot, but they really are good.

And they are.

Probably better never than this late...

Hey Mary, remember back on March 18th, 2008 when you tagged me to tell 5 random things about myself? No? Well you did and if I were a better blog-friend I would have seen it before right now. As pathetic as it may be, I think that was the only "tag" I've ever gotten in the cyber-world and so, even a month and a half later, I'm going to respond. Here goes, five random things about me:
1. I count my steps when I walk.
2. I conduct converstaions between myself and whoever else I want when I'm in the bathroom. Usually the shower, but sometimes even when I'm getting ready in the bathroom in the morning. I don't know why these conversations are localized to the bathroom. (NOTE: Since I have gotten married these conversations have moved inside my head as I'm still not ready for my husband to know just what a wierdy he has married.)
3. I played Barbies for the better part of eighth grade.
4. I love things that look real, but are smaller than normal size. Examples: Miniature furniture, doll food, babies.
5. When I was seven I broke some key pieces in my sister Robyn's exquisite tea-set, and lied about it. (I'm sorry Robyn, it was me! I know you know, but I had to come clean!) On the up side, I have been baptized since then so it's "all good".

Well, there you have it. Five random things about me, including one confession.

Sorry about using the word "bathroom" three times in number 2.

Wedding Ancillaries...

Well, I'm a married woman. I know that being married means you share everything but, even though Dave's better at it, I'm not sure I'm ready to share a blog yet. That being said, the only picture I have of my own wedding so far is one I stole from my sister's blog, but I promise there will be more to follow. I just wanted to get this up here for those who have been anxiously waiting. I love being married and setting up attic. That has been one of my favorite parts so far is making our little attic into a home :).

**Notice the bridesmaids' boquets in this pic... When they arrives they had huge bright purple irises sticking out of them (PURPLE!!) which I proceeded to tear out with not a single tear or explicative. Yeah for me!

One more thing...

I have been made an April fool.

If you follow Dave's blog you may have seen his latest entry "Snoops A Mormon". Clearly, this is not true (despite the convincing pic of him reading the BOM). It was all a big joke, a big April Fool's joke. Anyway, Dave told me on about April 3rd so I missed the joke, as it was 2 days overdue. This is why I announced to a full theater on Thursday night that Snoop Dogg was indeed a Mormon. A apologize to the audience of Definitely Maybe for that falsehood (and for the crappy movie). 

My final [exams, days of being single, etc.]

Hell hath no fury like a woman's...stress. Even I have been scared of myself these last few days. Hats off to Dave who has had to ask me (more than once) "Honey, what can I do to not annoy you?" only to be responded to with "Nothing!". He is so wonderful and I love him. My stress is thinning out as I finish up finals and prepare to leave for SUNNY Caifornia (I checked the weather--no rain on my wedding day!).  Anyway, I'm keeping this short-- next time I blog I will be a married woman!! On that note...

5 MORE DAYS!!!

Bride-a-phobia?

I'm back in Rexburg after a 4 day weekend in beautiful sunny CA. I had the privelege of traveling home for my bridal shower at which I scored 6 square feet worth of home making starter kit swag. It was great to recieve advice and chat with wiser older women, but I have to admit the first fifteen minutes of the shower were some of the most nerve-racking of my life. I sunk into a couch in front of a row of chairs seating several prominent women from my home ward (which from my angle looked more like a panel of judges). I started to sweat. Then they started talking to me. Puddles developed under my arms. At first it all sounded like gibberish, but I managed to get my heart rate low enough to decipher that they were asking me to speak. They wanted me to relay the stories of how Dave and I met and how we got engaged. I told them all well enough and the ladies seemed appeased, but I continued to sweat until the last present was opened. The bridesmaids on either side of me had to place their hands on my back and tell me that I was "doing fine" on more than one occasion.

The point of this all is that I don't know what is wrong with me! Hundreds of women become brides every day and seem to get through the whole ordeal unscarred, but every time an unnecessary amount of attention gets placed on me I hyperventilate. I admitted at my shower that it was only the third I'd ever been to (the other two being my sisters') and that I hated showers. I think I have bride-phobia! That being said, in all seriousness, does anyone know of a good wedding day anti-perspirant?

(Disclaimer for the comic: I'm not actually nervous about this part... I just think this is funny.)

Titanic

I dedicate this blog entry to the movie Titanic. I want to come out publicly and proclaim my shameless love for the movie. It seems that most people feel encumbered by the need to renounce the movie simply because of it's ridiculous love story, hackneyed dialogue, and mediocre acting. While these things may be true, Titanic is a great story of historical human interest, coupled with a moving score and an amazingly accurate portrayal of the sinking of this grand ship!

This being said, if you haven't seen it in a while maybe its time to pull it out from your sock drawer, dust it off, and give Titanic another shot. Here's to you, James Cameron, I salute you.

happy spring!

This is what I felt like this morning as I stepped out of my front door into the first day of spring. Sure, the sky is grey, the wind is brisk, and frostibite is still a legitimate concern, but things to be grateful for: there was no ice on my car this lovely spring morning. Ah, spring--our gateway to summer. I feel especially twitterpated this season as I set aside a good ten minutes a day to think about my wedding and forthcoming marriage (embarassingly, this is true).

So whether the sky be grey, blue, or heliotrope, today I dedicate this gay little spring song to you. Enjoy.

A New Leaf

Dave often asks me why I am so afraid of technology. The answer should be clearly demonstrated in my being schizo-blog-ic! I apologize to those who still surprisingly take the time to look at my blog. You must think you've hit the wrong link every time because every time you look MY PAGE IS DIFFERENT! I really feel like a moron about the whole thing, but there are so many lovely templates to choose from! So many colors! And no matter what my page still seems to look like it was done by a third grader. (No offense to third graders, many of them are lovely people). But today I turn over a new leaf. This template and color scheme is here to stay, so please, stay with me cyber world.

Summer Snow and Attic Homes

I woke up this morning at a crisp 8 o clock, took a fresh breath of morning air, and drew back the curtains only to find a layer of freshly fallen snow covering the earth which, in the middle of March, is hell. Now I like snow and I hate to complain that the good Lord is sending the Idaho farmers some sweet soft moisture, but March 13? It seems like something that should be in a line of Alanis Moristte's "Ironic" (i.e. something that is in no way ironic, but sucks very much.)

That's life.

But this is also life: Dave and I found a homestead! It's not much, but it has more 23.6 degree angles than a person can dream for and a bedroom two times the size of the rest of the apartment. As if that isn't enough it's an attic! Take that basement apartments.

Shining

It's your time to SHINE.

Eye Pastry

These are some of my favorite paintings by one of my favorite artists, Vladmir Kush. It was really hard to even chooose a few because they're all beautiful. Check him out.

Just a Dream Away

This is a dream that Maggie had about me and Dave. She is in far-away London town and still dreaming coherently about the goings-on in this part of the world. Except that this never happened (but I'm sure it would be extremely accurate were it to actually happen):

Ok, so you and Dave were in my dream last night. It was so real. You guys owned this mountain that everyone loved to snowboard on, and you were generously going to give the deed up. There was this a-hole and this other wonderful man who wanted the mountain. The wonderful man really loved the mountain and snowboarding, and the a-hole just wanted to make money, and was going to get the deed. So during this big handing-over-the-deed ceremony Dave, in good humor, handed the a-hole the deed, tied his shoe, said thanks, took the deed back and gave it to the nice guy. I was so relieved and woke up in a panic because I had to thank you guys. I'm not sure why. But anyway, thanks!

Oh, Maggie.

To the left

When you look at my blog do you feel like your monitor is going to fall to the left? I do sometimes.

Wedding shoes!

I got my wedding shoes in the mail yesterday and want to share them with the world. I wanted to shout them from a mountain top, but I guess this is the next best thing. They look pretty plain in the pic and, well, they are, but I love them. I can't wait to wear them on my wedding day! I can't wait to be married! Yeah!

Putting it on the line...

I don't know why I am doing this, but I am. Robert McKee says that no one has to know how mediocre most of your work is unless you "add vanity to folly, and put it on display." Well I guess I fall into that category. I just don't know what to do with most of the crap I write, so I'll share it with the blogging world.

Here Lies

The clank of a can on a cold tile floor
Feels like falling through
Ice on a frozen pond.
Warmth deserts like a cowardly soldier.
No heat of sun, or fire, or flame

A mother’s unheeded warnings
Sound like toy cars
Tumbling down stairs; they

Crack
And
Shatter

Landing in a puddle of innocence

Lost.

But trying to leave, to stop, to change
Is harder still.
Like cigarette smoke you
Soak into a corduroy couch.
Seep deeper still into
Worthlessness.

Giving in
Looks like the last leaf
Falling off a wet and
Creaking tree, landing on a
Headstone:

Here lies

Change.

Misty, Water-Colored Memories

Today I spent several hours helping run a booth at the career fair for the group I went to Uganda with-- Help International. It made me so nostalgic! It made me miss the days when a lazy afternoon was spent throwing African kids in the air and wearing ridiculous polka dot shirt dresses. It was great to spend so much time just talking to people about the great experiences I had there. I am filled with gratitude today as I reminisce about my time in Uganda, and reflect on the person it has helped me to become. It was pinnacle of my life-- take that, pending marriage! (Getting engaged was pretty awesome.)

an attempt...

Did it work? If it did this is me and dave looking at our new baby. If it didn't, you are very confused by that.

give it up

I guess I have to give it up to my soon to be husband for inspiring the change in my blog title. Him and every black rapper. I'd also like to thank God and all my peeps.

Hello again, blogging world.

I am engaged, and I suck at blogging. I postulate that my blogging is so inconsistent because my page is so drab! I mean it's depressing to look at. I don't know how to insert pictires, videos, or even a snappy background. After browsing the blogs of my comrades I realized that my blog is like the awkward gothic kid that you don't want to offend because you're afriad he'll blow up the school.

Someone help!